A Tired Tool

From William Gibson's Neuromancer:
"A year here and he still dreamed of cyberspace, hope fading nightly."

I picked this line out a while back, only to file it into the back of my mind while I worked on my author analysis. But as I return to it, I find this sentence underwelming.

You see this structure a lot, and it's because of that dependant clause on its end. It's conditional in function, a modifier for the entire sentence. In  this sentence, it pairs the progressive verb with the time period in the main clause. In others, it's a hypotactic addendum to the primary source, it slows the reading if placed near the beginning and gives weight if added on to the end.

It works well for how simple it is. [Main thought], [connected thought] [verb]ing. It's just, I feel I've seen it everywhere, and there are better ways of writing this same sentence. There's a lot given to context, in the case of Neuromancer, it's atmousphere for the lead's world and is supposed to be brief. But if you want your condition to be experienced more than an afterthought, giving it its own sentence would be beneficial.

But another point of interest about this sentence: it is the first recorded instance of the word "cyberspace" ever. At least, Gibson is attributed with coining it, and Neuromancer is his first novel.